Location update: Lucknow, capital of my home state. (Work related travel)
I had thought earlier that I would never ever write about the people I work with/for. But of late Work related stress due to working with IDIOTS has been mounting up to such a great deal, that writing about it will have some therapeutic effect to some extent (I hope). Resigning from the job is the permanent solution to cure it, and needless to say I am evaluating certain options, but for certain reasons I need to stick around and continue working with people whom I can’t stand. And I am not grinning and bearing it....far from it.
I have worked with a lot of people whom I couldn’t stand earlier as well, and I didn’t have any problems because there was certain professionalism to the manner in which work was done. The problem comes when people you work with, are thorough UN-professionals. When simple courtesy is forgotten, when work at hand becomes secondary to prevailing politics, when you have fibbing colleagues, who are such compulsive liars, who despite being confronted will build on mountains of lies just to prove their point, and when you have incompetent idiots who don’t even want to learn!
How am I dealing with it? Writing about it and maintaining a lot of distance from such people. If one can’t learn their ways, the best way is to keep far from such people.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Roommates and such
10 years of hostel life comes with its own set of doings, wrong doings, learnings, un-learnings and unforgettable memories, of great friends and sworn enemies.
I look back at all these years and I am quite amazed at the number of friends I have made, though not surprised at the number of enemies /or people I would not even want to know they exist [sic], I have ran into. Enemies are easier to be found than good friends. And if a friend still cares to enquire about your health and well being, after you haven’t called her/him in ages, then that friend has to be cherished truly.
This is about two very different girls who were my roommate at different points in time and shared very important part of my life. I met G on a hot summer day of June in 1997 in Allahabad, and K, in 2001 in BIT Mesra, sometime in November-December.
Interestingly when I met them, I was living alone in a shared room (actually it looks like a déjà-vu now). I am usually a friendly person, but tend to put my guards on only when someone has been very nasty. Immediately before I met these girls, I have had some very B*T*H kind of people around me, and hence my guards were intact. Needless to say, I was rude, direct, and not the usual self.
I don’t know what prompted them to stay with me (I would never know). I can only hope it was something more than the issue of unavailability of rooms other than mine. Over the year and half I spent with G and approximately an year with K , our relationship blossomed. With both these fabulous girls, I rediscovered friendship and learnt to trust people. We laughed, cried, ate, sang and danced, shared secrets, advised, and had lot of fun together. Those were indeed the unforgettable days, which I have spent with G and K respectively.
After coming to Bangalore, I got out of touch with these gals within couple of years (lost mobile story). It is a long story of how we came in touch again. But we did, and I learnt that just as I was eager to reconnect with them, and tried getting in touch with someone-who-might-have-her –number, to googling the name, and school details in sheer anticipation that google/orkut/facebook might link us up again; they also tried as much.
I cringe at times when I think of how terse and rude I had been to them initially for no fault of theirs, while they defined the meaning of friendship for me, and they still do. I feel like a mean person and I wish I could say sorry. I try but cannot bring myself to it, and I don’t know why.
I do thank God for blessing me with such people. I don’t even know if I deserve them, but I certainly know that I cherish them.
I look back at all these years and I am quite amazed at the number of friends I have made, though not surprised at the number of enemies /or people I would not even want to know they exist [sic], I have ran into. Enemies are easier to be found than good friends. And if a friend still cares to enquire about your health and well being, after you haven’t called her/him in ages, then that friend has to be cherished truly.
This is about two very different girls who were my roommate at different points in time and shared very important part of my life. I met G on a hot summer day of June in 1997 in Allahabad, and K, in 2001 in BIT Mesra, sometime in November-December.
Interestingly when I met them, I was living alone in a shared room (actually it looks like a déjà-vu now). I am usually a friendly person, but tend to put my guards on only when someone has been very nasty. Immediately before I met these girls, I have had some very B*T*H kind of people around me, and hence my guards were intact. Needless to say, I was rude, direct, and not the usual self.
I don’t know what prompted them to stay with me (I would never know). I can only hope it was something more than the issue of unavailability of rooms other than mine. Over the year and half I spent with G and approximately an year with K , our relationship blossomed. With both these fabulous girls, I rediscovered friendship and learnt to trust people. We laughed, cried, ate, sang and danced, shared secrets, advised, and had lot of fun together. Those were indeed the unforgettable days, which I have spent with G and K respectively.
After coming to Bangalore, I got out of touch with these gals within couple of years (lost mobile story). It is a long story of how we came in touch again. But we did, and I learnt that just as I was eager to reconnect with them, and tried getting in touch with someone-who-might-have-her –number, to googling the name, and school details in sheer anticipation that google/orkut/facebook might link us up again; they also tried as much.
I cringe at times when I think of how terse and rude I had been to them initially for no fault of theirs, while they defined the meaning of friendship for me, and they still do. I feel like a mean person and I wish I could say sorry. I try but cannot bring myself to it, and I don’t know why.
I do thank God for blessing me with such people. I don’t even know if I deserve them, but I certainly know that I cherish them.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Justice OR the Lack of it?
Some time backthis was in one of the news section (blink-and-miss) One more proof of how easy it is for wealthy and influential people to commit a heinous crime and get away with it. Clean chit to Business man charged of murder and child abuse has been given by none other than CBI, who, last heard, could not solve this case because it was bungled up
A quick search on the internet reveals that Pandher had well established political links.
Justice is pricey anddifficult impossible to get for common man.
It takes excruciating long time and is denied most of the times.Though it might work well for some people who want to be tried in India.
Isn't the time we rewrote the preamble to the constitution of India? (coming up in the next post)
A quick search on the internet reveals that Pandher had well established political links.
Justice is pricey and
It takes excruciating long time and is denied most of the times.Though it might work well for some people who want to be tried in India.
Isn't the time we rewrote the preamble to the constitution of India? (coming up in the next post)
Friday, September 25, 2009
Of Fire Alarms and Maids
On my penultimate day of this US trip, I decided to make dosas for breakfast. Normally I would have made oats, or poured milk over cereals, but this was out of extra love for DH who is going to be alone here for next 2 months, since I am leaving this weekend.
So long story short, dosa batter was lousy (the dosa batter that the Indian store @ Chicago stocked was way inferior to what we used to get in desi stores in Dallas). After couple of sticky, broken to bits dosas, I finally made a round thick one – similar to set dosa. After I sat down to eat, and had barely finished one, while browsing the net, the fire alarm went off. I had forgotten to switch off the hot plate!! The greasy pan was smoldering; the kitchen chimney fan was still working but couldn’t suck the smoke out. I turned it off, opened the windows and contemplated about the futility of desi cooking in American kitchen.
Another day at a friend’s house, I was heating (Note: not making!) frozen Nans and Parathas, and had forgotten to switch on the chimney. Within minutes, the alarm went off. He later told us that the same thing had happened when his parents had come visiting. This guy goes to office and his mom decides to make parathas for breakfast, oblivious to the instrument of fire alarm. As expected the alarm went off, and the guy was telephoned. He instructed on phone to switch it off. Later (since desi cooking can’t be without fire and smoke), this guy wrapped the fire alarm in layers of cling wrap!! The cooking resumed without any hassle, however maintenance guys on discovering the ‘preserved’ fire alarm, did sent across a notice of fine.
I am glad that for the next couple of months I can cook without worrying about smoke and fire alarms, and that I don’t even have to cook and clean back home. I am back to India....where maids/household helps are so quintessential!! They say living is easier/better in developed countries. I vehemently disagree to that. Living is so much more convenient in India. Everything gets done on phone..grocery, plumbing, milk, vegetables, and heck! even currency exchange and routine blood tests. There is a home delivery/service for every single thing that you can think of, and every work (except your job, of course) can be outsourced. Cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, you name it ; you get it done! Even your religious obligations are outsourced, I have learnt!
The only trouble I have is of traffic and driving on pot holed roads. But that is not so tough baby!
So long story short, dosa batter was lousy (the dosa batter that the Indian store @ Chicago stocked was way inferior to what we used to get in desi stores in Dallas). After couple of sticky, broken to bits dosas, I finally made a round thick one – similar to set dosa. After I sat down to eat, and had barely finished one, while browsing the net, the fire alarm went off. I had forgotten to switch off the hot plate!! The greasy pan was smoldering; the kitchen chimney fan was still working but couldn’t suck the smoke out. I turned it off, opened the windows and contemplated about the futility of desi cooking in American kitchen.
Another day at a friend’s house, I was heating (Note: not making!) frozen Nans and Parathas, and had forgotten to switch on the chimney. Within minutes, the alarm went off. He later told us that the same thing had happened when his parents had come visiting. This guy goes to office and his mom decides to make parathas for breakfast, oblivious to the instrument of fire alarm. As expected the alarm went off, and the guy was telephoned. He instructed on phone to switch it off. Later (since desi cooking can’t be without fire and smoke), this guy wrapped the fire alarm in layers of cling wrap!! The cooking resumed without any hassle, however maintenance guys on discovering the ‘preserved’ fire alarm, did sent across a notice of fine.
I am glad that for the next couple of months I can cook without worrying about smoke and fire alarms, and that I don’t even have to cook and clean back home. I am back to India....where maids/household helps are so quintessential!! They say living is easier/better in developed countries. I vehemently disagree to that. Living is so much more convenient in India. Everything gets done on phone..grocery, plumbing, milk, vegetables, and heck! even currency exchange and routine blood tests. There is a home delivery/service for every single thing that you can think of, and every work (except your job, of course) can be outsourced. Cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, you name it ; you get it done! Even your religious obligations are outsourced, I have learnt!
The only trouble I have is of traffic and driving on pot holed roads. But that is not so tough baby!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Life after marrying an MBA
1. Everything in your life will be planned, note everything. Starting from how should you be spending your holidays/weekends to your life post retirement. All contingency will be taken into account and scenarios would be carefully thought of and accounted for.
2. Every expense (past and future) will be in some excel file. There will be a trend analysis of past expenses to group the heads where you can optimize (read: cut your budget). Future expenses like loan payment will be analyzed in at least 10 different cases with different rates of inflation and growth rate of salary.
3. Every purchase you do will be carefully examined to see if one is receiving the true value out of it. Market research will be promptly done (with full reviews) and finally when the right deal is there, Bang! You definitely get what you needed, though it might take a while. But remember, RIGHT Deal...that is the key word here.
4. All travel would be in a true tourist style, sneakers, caps and maps in place. You do have to utilize your time, you can’t waste it by lying holed up in your hotel room reading....
5. The air travel will be planned such that the mile summary reads higher figures, so that when the spouse has to travel, you simply convert the miles and buy tickets. Learn to ECONOMISE people!!
6. All talk you will have with your spouse will be peppered with top-line, bottom-line, Scenario-planning, Budgeting, Pro-active, tactical, ideate, and not to forget STRATEGIC!!
7. If you happen to invest in some life insurance scheme or some mutual fund scheme, be prepared to see the sales guy/s get hassled by your spouse’s deft use of MS excel to show him that the product that the sales guy is selling is much inferior to that of the rival’s.
8. Also (in continuation with point no 7) be prepared to see a lot of sales people for that one product which you had seen on TV and wanted to invest in.
9. TV viewing would be limited to business news, and your spouse mood would fluctuate with the stock market. Learn to be sympathetic when stock market falls, even if it does not concern you.
10. Last and most important is MULTITASKING. You will get used to your spouse answering the calls, making you a drink, writing a mail, and using sign language to communicate all within the same span of time!
All this will continue even if you try explaining and instilling the notion that however thorough we may plan, life is unpredictable. Learnings of a B school gets ingrained deeper.
2. Every expense (past and future) will be in some excel file. There will be a trend analysis of past expenses to group the heads where you can optimize (read: cut your budget). Future expenses like loan payment will be analyzed in at least 10 different cases with different rates of inflation and growth rate of salary.
3. Every purchase you do will be carefully examined to see if one is receiving the true value out of it. Market research will be promptly done (with full reviews) and finally when the right deal is there, Bang! You definitely get what you needed, though it might take a while. But remember, RIGHT Deal...that is the key word here.
4. All travel would be in a true tourist style, sneakers, caps and maps in place. You do have to utilize your time, you can’t waste it by lying holed up in your hotel room reading....
5. The air travel will be planned such that the mile summary reads higher figures, so that when the spouse has to travel, you simply convert the miles and buy tickets. Learn to ECONOMISE people!!
6. All talk you will have with your spouse will be peppered with top-line, bottom-line, Scenario-planning, Budgeting, Pro-active, tactical, ideate, and not to forget STRATEGIC!!
7. If you happen to invest in some life insurance scheme or some mutual fund scheme, be prepared to see the sales guy/s get hassled by your spouse’s deft use of MS excel to show him that the product that the sales guy is selling is much inferior to that of the rival’s.
8. Also (in continuation with point no 7) be prepared to see a lot of sales people for that one product which you had seen on TV and wanted to invest in.
9. TV viewing would be limited to business news, and your spouse mood would fluctuate with the stock market. Learn to be sympathetic when stock market falls, even if it does not concern you.
10. Last and most important is MULTITASKING. You will get used to your spouse answering the calls, making you a drink, writing a mail, and using sign language to communicate all within the same span of time!
All this will continue even if you try explaining and instilling the notion that however thorough we may plan, life is unpredictable. Learnings of a B school gets ingrained deeper.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
So you can Kick your DIL legally!
Someone posted this on facebook. This seems horrifying and suggests that some amount of violence is permissible by law (sec 498 A IPC).
However, given that lots of cases are not genuine (yes I have witnessed instances where the bride's family harassed the groom's family), this makes sense to some extent (like divorce threat), but any amount/degree of physical torture is not acceptable, even if it is kicking.
Come to think of it, while the judges have ruled that they wanted to account for bona fide cases, and hence the kicking (by MILs, relatives of husband) have to be termed as within the "boundary of law". How is someone going to ascertain that the kicking was merely shoving with legs and not a powerful thrust of legs in the stomach/ groin/ chest or even face!
People can misuse this as well. It can be interpreted as:
Use your legs to beat your DIL black and blue since its only "kicking" and its legal!
However, given that lots of cases are not genuine (yes I have witnessed instances where the bride's family harassed the groom's family), this makes sense to some extent (like divorce threat), but any amount/degree of physical torture is not acceptable, even if it is kicking.
Come to think of it, while the judges have ruled that they wanted to account for bona fide cases, and hence the kicking (by MILs, relatives of husband) have to be termed as within the "boundary of law". How is someone going to ascertain that the kicking was merely shoving with legs and not a powerful thrust of legs in the stomach/ groin/ chest or even face!
People can misuse this as well. It can be interpreted as:
Use your legs to beat your DIL black and blue since its only "kicking" and its legal!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
A short Update
Been busy lately...
Too many things are happening...
Location update: Dallas
Status update: Glad to be with husband dear for 3 months straight :). (This is the longest time span that we have spent together in the last 2 years)
And he is still traveling too much here. One month and two trips to LA, and one to Chicago. I am getting his miles converted and tagging along wherever I can :) ( I can't hide my glee :D )
I promise to write more.
Too many things are happening...
Location update: Dallas
Status update: Glad to be with husband dear for 3 months straight :). (This is the longest time span that we have spent together in the last 2 years)
And he is still traveling too much here. One month and two trips to LA, and one to Chicago. I am getting his miles converted and tagging along wherever I can :) ( I can't hide my glee :D )
I promise to write more.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Latest Update
Reached India on friday night...flight was comfortable. I bought two history books from Dubai, one on Bahadur Shah Zafar, and the other on Genghis Khan. So I spent the flight time, reading the one on Bahdur Shah by William Darlymple. Its a marvelously written book. The earlier works of WD have fascinated me, and I am hooked to his style of writing. I wish I could write like that.
The weekend was very hectic with preparation going on in full swing for a family function. Work wise, I am facing lot of time crunch. And presently too much is happening in my life. Its true when they say that one life is not enough.
There are certain things I had decided I would start this year. More writing, more yoga, and definitely more reading. I have been trying to do little bit of everything, but need to put in more effort.
And I also need to clean my house of clutter.
The weekend was very hectic with preparation going on in full swing for a family function. Work wise, I am facing lot of time crunch. And presently too much is happening in my life. Its true when they say that one life is not enough.
There are certain things I had decided I would start this year. More writing, more yoga, and definitely more reading. I have been trying to do little bit of everything, but need to put in more effort.
And I also need to clean my house of clutter.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Promoting the Pink Chaddi!
Ohh how I wish I was in India to donate some pink chaddis.
I am loving this campaign.
And I am strongly lobbying for this.
check out THIS
I would post more when I get back to Delhi this weekend.
I am loving this campaign.
And I am strongly lobbying for this.
check out THIS
I would post more when I get back to Delhi this weekend.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
On why SLUMDAWG has made it and why TZP hasn’t…..
Now a huge hue and cry has been made about the issue that how unfortunate it was for a great and realistic movie like TZP to be turned down for nominations at the Oscars, and how an unrealistic movie like SDM, goes on to grab golden globes, and how the nomination for Oscars for SDM have followed.
Indians are unhappy because their ‘poverty, filth and wretchedness is hungrily gobbled up by the westerners’, while people in the west print media have called SDM a ‘poverty porn’.
There are many reasons to the SDM winning accolade everywhere.
A child’s inability to read and write properly might be a trouble of magnanimous proportion for an Indian middle class family, but not for people living in developed world, where education isn't the only passport to better off living standards. And hence TZP isn’t really that great, as we have made that out to be. On the other hand SDM has struck the right chord because that’s precisely what the western audience wants to watch.
First SDM is made by a Gorra man, who is competent as well, and it’s a common knowledge that rigging happens everywhere. And for Oscars too such allegations have been made it the past. So this deserves the benefit of doubt.
Second, people from the developed world love to see filth and poverty and people living in appalling conditions. This makes them feel better off. A very common psychological trait! The award winning novels (numerous), films/biographies (born into brothels), photographs (Pulitzer 1994-Kevin Carter; vulture waiting for the starving kid to die), have always been the ones that have brought out the shame of civilized society. And India is a fertile ground for all of these. Largest democracy population wise, top ranked in poverty, health hazards, corruption, malnutrition, crime, and yet with a strong economic growth – that is what we are about. It’s the same country where you can finds contradictions everywhere, from smooth highways of Punjab & Haryana, where female feticide is a flourishing practice, to crater holed roads of Bangalore, cause of the infamous word ‘Bangalored’ – (agony for hundreds of workers in first world countries who lost their jobs to English speaking Indian youth). The educated don’t vote, the uneducated vote anyone, depending on who provides them rice/money/alcohol. We have growing population of criminal politicians, politicians who can’t speak their own names properly (leave alone writing), amongst many other breeds. Where else can you find 70 year old people with both legs in grave, procreating? Where else can you see the glorified temples of khajuraho of erotic art, and the strange denial of existence of sexual needs in the same society? Where else can you see a space mission to moon and educated people getting married to trees/dogs/rock to avoid marital discord?
Third it portrays more reality than the fiction portrayed by TZP. No doubt TZP is great movie, and specially the screenplay, including the song “Ma..”, is rendered so beautifully that it greatly moves the audience.
This is a wrong concept of movie. A movie is not supposed to move you, it is supposed to entertain. TZP doesn’t entertain. It leaves the audience with a sense of guilt, a sense of shame, and a strong sense of nostalgia for most of us who have been directly or indirectly related with the concept of under-performance in school and the associated social humiliation by teachers, parents, family, friends, and so on and so forth. I have gone through this humiliation, and can recall vividly how one of my cousins was going through the same problem of dyslexia in his early school life, and no one in the family had any clue about it. He later quit studies to join his family business.
I can also recall many from my school, and childhood friends who had similar difficulties and who were branded as duffers by teachers, relatives and parents too. But all of these and I am sure many more children who suffered had no ‘Amir Khan’ to save their lives of shame, fear, and failure. They never had any hero, as they show in TZP. No doubt the movie did a great job in making people aware, and hopefully people would be now be more sympathetic with their under-performing kids; but the movie remains a great piece of fiction which doesn’t entertain. It strains.
On the contrary SDM (I haven’t seen the movie, so can’t really compare); supposedly shows a fictional story of a guy who lives in slums, who goes on to win millions on a game show. That is fiction of course, but what remains fact is the portrayal of the story in an entertaining manner, which pleases the audience, and not makes them feel guilty. That’s what Amir didn’t do. So, to make a good movie which is set in a not yet developed country, you ought to show the context vividly, however dirty, illogical, and unrelated that might be. That’s what Boyle did.
Indians are unhappy because their ‘poverty, filth and wretchedness is hungrily gobbled up by the westerners’, while people in the west print media have called SDM a ‘poverty porn’.
There are many reasons to the SDM winning accolade everywhere.
A child’s inability to read and write properly might be a trouble of magnanimous proportion for an Indian middle class family, but not for people living in developed world, where education isn't the only passport to better off living standards. And hence TZP isn’t really that great, as we have made that out to be. On the other hand SDM has struck the right chord because that’s precisely what the western audience wants to watch.
First SDM is made by a Gorra man, who is competent as well, and it’s a common knowledge that rigging happens everywhere. And for Oscars too such allegations have been made it the past. So this deserves the benefit of doubt.
Second, people from the developed world love to see filth and poverty and people living in appalling conditions. This makes them feel better off. A very common psychological trait! The award winning novels (numerous), films/biographies (born into brothels), photographs (Pulitzer 1994-Kevin Carter; vulture waiting for the starving kid to die), have always been the ones that have brought out the shame of civilized society. And India is a fertile ground for all of these. Largest democracy population wise, top ranked in poverty, health hazards, corruption, malnutrition, crime, and yet with a strong economic growth – that is what we are about. It’s the same country where you can finds contradictions everywhere, from smooth highways of Punjab & Haryana, where female feticide is a flourishing practice, to crater holed roads of Bangalore, cause of the infamous word ‘Bangalored’ – (agony for hundreds of workers in first world countries who lost their jobs to English speaking Indian youth). The educated don’t vote, the uneducated vote anyone, depending on who provides them rice/money/alcohol. We have growing population of criminal politicians, politicians who can’t speak their own names properly (leave alone writing), amongst many other breeds. Where else can you find 70 year old people with both legs in grave, procreating? Where else can you see the glorified temples of khajuraho of erotic art, and the strange denial of existence of sexual needs in the same society? Where else can you see a space mission to moon and educated people getting married to trees/dogs/rock to avoid marital discord?
Third it portrays more reality than the fiction portrayed by TZP. No doubt TZP is great movie, and specially the screenplay, including the song “Ma..”, is rendered so beautifully that it greatly moves the audience.
This is a wrong concept of movie. A movie is not supposed to move you, it is supposed to entertain. TZP doesn’t entertain. It leaves the audience with a sense of guilt, a sense of shame, and a strong sense of nostalgia for most of us who have been directly or indirectly related with the concept of under-performance in school and the associated social humiliation by teachers, parents, family, friends, and so on and so forth. I have gone through this humiliation, and can recall vividly how one of my cousins was going through the same problem of dyslexia in his early school life, and no one in the family had any clue about it. He later quit studies to join his family business.
I can also recall many from my school, and childhood friends who had similar difficulties and who were branded as duffers by teachers, relatives and parents too. But all of these and I am sure many more children who suffered had no ‘Amir Khan’ to save their lives of shame, fear, and failure. They never had any hero, as they show in TZP. No doubt the movie did a great job in making people aware, and hopefully people would be now be more sympathetic with their under-performing kids; but the movie remains a great piece of fiction which doesn’t entertain. It strains.
On the contrary SDM (I haven’t seen the movie, so can’t really compare); supposedly shows a fictional story of a guy who lives in slums, who goes on to win millions on a game show. That is fiction of course, but what remains fact is the portrayal of the story in an entertaining manner, which pleases the audience, and not makes them feel guilty. That’s what Amir didn’t do. So, to make a good movie which is set in a not yet developed country, you ought to show the context vividly, however dirty, illogical, and unrelated that might be. That’s what Boyle did.
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